Que & Ans

Q: How to handle people who argue using kutarka (wrong logic)?

Sri Sri: Intelligent people never argue, especially bhaktas, lovers, devotees never argue. It is said in the Narada bhakti sutra that if you are a devotee, you are lover of God, you never argue. Arguments have got no loyalty. They can go this way or that.
There are eight types of kutarkas. I tell you our nation, Vedic philosophy has tremendous knowledge, insight on this aspect. Like one is ‘pitanga’ – conveniently quoting one line and forgetting the other line. The second type is ‘I am saying so it is right’. Different types of logic to confuse you and make you feel like you have won.
At the time of Adi Shankracharya, ancient time two garlands were put on people involved in arguments. It was believed that the one who is wrong, who is trying to prove something wrong, his garland will wither away and the one who is authentic and trying to put forward the truth, his garland will stay. That is how Adi Shankracharya won arguments from place to place.
Wise people don’t get into arguments. They say, ‘Ok you want to win, ok you win.’

Q: How can we love someone who did a terrible thing to us?

Sri Sri: Don’t love them. Just accept them. First accept and then see the culprit not as a culprit but a victim. Due to circumstances they did so. If they would have had wisdom they wouldn’t have done it.
Just a few days ago, a lady came to the ashram. She has three children and her husband was killed by Maoists. Later she became an Art of Living teacher and when she went back, she taught the Maoists Sudarshan Kriya and pranayama. Maoists were so amazed. They asked her: ‘You are not angry with us, we killed your husband?’ She said, ‘No, you didn’t have knowledge of what you were doing. I want you to be in knowledge’. They all did Sudarshan Kriya, pranayama and left the path of violence. They were crying in front of her like babies. The way she described brought tears in everybody’s eyes. All those 2000 people present had tears in eyes.
This is the power of wisdom. It unites people of all roles and attitudes.